How Some Yoga Instructors Came to Their Practice

Originally published on McSweeney’s

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We all have an origin story

After realizing she was unfulfilled as a high energy physicist, Viv turned to Hatha yoga to open herself up to the true wonder of the universe — gentle stretching. She uses Xeno’s Paradox to demonstrate the correct way to enter crow pose.

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Following a multi-phase skiing accident that absolutely ruined his spine, JJ began practicing power yoga to reactivate the nerves in his feet. Using the strength in his arms, he can now drag his deadened legs through a 90-minute ashtanga sequence.

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After getting into black tar heroin and living in a dumpster for three years, Sara began practicing vinyasa yoga as a way to regain her flexibility and self-worth. She can once again get both legs behind her head — although she no longer gets paid for it.

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Melissa is a talented and spiritual yogini who came to bikram after a massive fire killed her entire family — rather than hold a grudge, she decided to tame the heat. She can tolerate temperatures in excess of 130 degrees but not passive aggressiveness.

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Born without limbs, Tom started doing face yoga as a child and soon sprouted arms and legs. He credits yoga with changing his entire body — literally.

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Satirist and pizza scientist. Co-founder of The Belladonna + Satire and Humor Festival. Buy my book “New Erotica for Feminists” here! https://amzn.to/2HnQf8m

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